Weakness
by Midnight's Angelic Guardian
Summary: Abuse is never OK. Sara decides to stop condoning her own. SaraOC Warnings: Mention of domestic violenceabuse.


Weakness

By: Midnight's Angelic Guardian

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI: or any of its affiliated entities. They belong to CBS, and whoever else. It's late and I don't feel like trying to remember who all has the rights right now. Just know it's not me, so please don't sue me.

Author's Note: This was originally going to be part of a larger work, a side-story if you will, but I've since lost inspiration on that larger work and decided it will never be finished. This, however, I rather liked, and decided it was strong enough to stand on its own. It was written about half-way through season five, so disregard everything after Unbearable, because that's as far as I chose to try to keep it canon. I know the premise is slightly out there, with Sara being the strong female she is, so I want to explain what would have been happening had I written the larger story as I had planned it.

In the larger work, there was a serial killer terrorizing Vegas. Yes, again. During the course of the investigation, it was revealed that Grissom and Sophia were in a relationship. This caused Sara's emotions to go into a tail-spin. She developed a friendship with a man on the police force, they had a couple dates, and she slept with him. The following morning, he said that he was done seeing her and they should go their separate ways. This dealt yet another blow to Sara's self-esteem, and she wandered around fairly lifelessly for a while, before she met Mike. Mike was new to Vegas and had just moved into Sara's building. They started dating, and that brings you up to date.

* * *

Sara had never considered herself weak. Weak was refusing to acknowledge your feelings simply because they were inconvenient. Weak was leaving because things became too hard. Weak was blaming others for your problems, for your difficulties. No, Sara was anything but weak. 

It was funny, how obtuse people could be. They were supposed to be observant; it was in their job description. Crime Scene Investigators were known for seeing everything, for being able to catch a person in a lie. The Las Vegas night shift was reputed to be the best. Yet, not even Grissom, the greatest of them, or Catherine, the most worldly, or Warrick, the most observant, caught it.

They all congratulated her when she mentioned her new boyfriend. That term always irritated her. It sounded young, childish, not the word a thirty-something woman should use to describe her relationships. But no matter, if her colleagues (they used to be her friends) wanted to see him as her boyfriend, they were welcome to. Sara wouldn't correct them.

They all congratulated her, even Catherine, who had never truly seemed to warm to her. Grissom was silent, but Sara expected that. They met Mike, said they liked him. Wished Sara happiness. And then promptly returned to their own lives, their own dramas.

Sara had never considered herself weak. But then, she had never expected CSI's to buy her lies, not to see through her stories. After all, rough sex could only be blamed for bruises on her wrists and shoulders so often, and did they really believe Sara to be so clumsy that she could bump into a door more than once badly enough to bruise her cheek? Didn't they recognize the symptoms? They had all seen enough battered women in their line of work. Didn't they recognize the suddenly dark clothing, the long-sleeved shirts worn even in the heat of summer, when before she had been fond of sleeveless?

The relationship had been perfect at first. Mike was kind, loving, caring. He opened doors, and picked up checks. The sex was superb, gentle, but passionate. She was sent roses and showered with gifts.

And then it all changed.

The first time had been shocking. Sara hadn't been prepared for the blow, and when it came, his open palm striking her cheek with enough force to snap her head to the side, she froze, not even turning her face back to him. He had apologized profusely, taken her in his arms and sworn that he hadn't been thinking, that he would never do it again. And for a while, he hadn't.

The second time he hit her, Sara was still surprised, but somewhere, she knew she had anticipated it. She knew it from her childhood: if a man hits once, he is capable of hitting again. And it is never an accident to strike a woman.

He didn't apologize that time, but Sara took him back to her bed regardless.

It became more routine as the months continued, the blows becoming less angry and more planned, falling more often than not in places no one else could see. He slipped occasionally, lashing out in anger and slapping her face. She arrived once at the emergency room with a broken cheekbone, saying she had fallen down the stairs. The pity-filled glances of the nurse on duty communicated her knowledge, but neither of them acknowledged the truth of the situation. Sara was patched up, given painkillers, and sent home.

He still sent her roses at the lab, held doors open for her, kissed her gently in public.

Catherine expressed envy at Sara's luck with men, bemoaning her own series of failed affairs.

Grissom didn't look at her anymore, giving out assignments and keeping his eyes from her own. It didn't even sting anymore that he avoided her. Sara avoided him right back.

Sara had never considered herself weak. And still, one morning, she woke up in the hospital. Her arm was broken. Mike sat in the chair beside her bed, asleep, looking for all the world like a lover stricken with worry. When he woke, and saw her looking at him, he smiled genuinely, kissed her cheek, and ran to get the doctor when she expressed a wish to go home.

Not two weeks later, there was another argument. His fingers bruised her biceps, leaving another set of dark purple marks to replace the fading ones already present. As their words heated, he released her, only to send his fist flying into her gut, hurling her to the floor gasping. As she fell, her head struck her coffee table, leaving a gash on her forehead.

She lay there, trying desperately to breathe, and decided to stop being weak. She pushed herself to her feet and glared at him. When the next blow fell, Sara broke the unspoken rule.

She hit him back.

* * *

Author's Note: After this, in the story, eventually Grissom and Sophia break up. Sara and Sophia actually become friends. They catch the serial killer and, after some other events happen, Sara and Grissom find themselves in a relationship. But that story is never going to be written, so this is all you get. Please, review and tell me if you liked it, or if you hated it. All reviews are welcome. 


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